Be Not Nobody
by Nautica Dawn
Summary: When Sakura comes to give the boys of Team Seven some important news, they end up angering the medic. As some interesting facts come out, the boys will be scarred for life. /AU non-massacre ItaSaku\


_**Be Not Nobody**_

_Hikari Adams_

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Disclaimer: Me no own

A/N: AU non-massacre. That's all you need to know. I believe everything else is explained below.

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It was just a normal summer day in Konoha. The sun was shining cheerfully, smiling on the bustling village below. It was one of those days that were expected to be filled with happiness and smiles all around.

"No."

Not many would assume that such an innocent word would have any power over the peacefulness of Konohagakure on that day. In fact, it could just be a civilian housewife refusing a merchants offer politely. It could be one of the Inuzuka training their canine companion.

Instead, it was the word that brought all the demons of the underworld upon the heads of Team Seven.

Haruno Sakura was known for being relatively polite and cheerful, regardless of her hothead. When she said that one word to the boys of her team, it meant certain doom for the three.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto began nervously.

Jade eyes narrowed dangerously as she crossed her arms across her chest and began tapping her foot in a threatening way that left a spider's web of cracks on the ground beneath her, "You have no right to call me that, _Uzumaki-san_."

Even Sasuke flinched.

"Sakura," their lackadaisical leader warned, "That was an order."

She smiled, the expression sickeningly sweet and promising all the wrath of a scorned and vengeful storm, "I am well aware of this, Hatake-san, but seeing as I handed in my reassignment request this morning, I am no longer a member of this team. Not that I ever was to begin with."

"What! But, Sakura-chan, you can't leave! We're Team Seven!"

The smile vanished, replaced by the dark clouds that precede the lashing winds and pummeling hail of a summer tempest, "No. You are Team Seven. I was never considered a true part of this team."

"Haruno," the Uchiha called, his voice commanding the attention of everyone present, "Explain."

"Simple," she snapped, her foot coming down as a larger crack appeared between her and the boys, "When I joined this team, Kakashi saw me as useless. He refused to properly train me, and as a result, I only learned how to climb trees from him. Which, by the way, was the only thing he ever taught me. Now, he taught the Chidori to Sasuke and arranged for Naruto to have other instructors, but I was left behind. I was completely forgotten, forced to beg _Mitarashi Anko_ for training because everyone else was too busy with his or her own team. When she went away on a mission, she at least arranged for me to take up training with someone else while she was gone. Tell me, _Hatake-san_, what makes you a better team leader than Anko-sensei, who got me an apprenticeship with the one and only Godaime Hokage, Tsunade-sama? What did you ever do for me that makes you better than someone that made me the apprentice of a sannin?"

"Sakura-chan, I'm the apprentice of a sannin as well!"

"Because Jiraiya is your godfather, idiot. Did you ever consider that maybe he took you on as a student because you're the closest thing to family that he has?"

The blonde son of the Yondaime fell silent, his sky blue eyes focusing on the miniature canyons in the ground.

Sakura fought the sadistic smirk that fought its way forward with all of Anko's training, "Exactly. Sasuke has the entire Uchiha clan to help him. You had Jiraiya. Kakashi was your father's student. I have Anko-sensei and Tsunade-shishou. The main difference between us is the fact that the three of you can work together. However, I am left in the back ground, _and don't give me that crap about medics not fighting, Hatake-san_."

The last of her rant had slipped off into a cruel whisper of an arctic wind, one that froze all three as yet another crack split topsoil and bedrock alike. All three had known Haruno Sakura for years. They had seen her angry before. They had seen her cry and smile.

They had never seen her so completely furious that even a mother grizzly bear protecting her cubs would cower in fear before her.

"I have put up with this sexist crap for as long as I can. Tsunade-shishou has my formal complaint and request that the three of you be restricted to C and D class missions for sexual discrimination on the field. According to her, Sai will be replacing me as a teammate and Kakashi as team leader," she explained, reminding them that the boy who had replaced Sasuke, when the Uchiha clan spirited him away three years ago, was still alive, "If anything, this should make you all happier. The 'weak link' is gone. I have a new team, and not one of them is a chauvinistic bastard like the three of you."

Kakashi's visible eye hardened, "What team have you been assigned to?"

Sakura's warped expression of would be happiness came back, her emerald eyes issuing a challenge to the older shinobi, "Don't worry. I'll be taken care of and I'm absolutely positive that my new team won't force me to the background so I can't fight. I know that they will expect me to pull my own weight, and that I will be given missions according to my skill _and not what a bunch of idiotic pansies think I should do because I'm 'weak' and they think it's a good idea to mess with me to the point that I want to take a cheese grater to some very interesting places that I learned about in my training with Tsunade-shishou and Anko-sensei_."

A near-visible cloud of killing intent descended on the group. It seemed as if the sun had stopped sending her maternal warmth towards the earth, and that playful March wind had begun to detour around the training grounds. The earth was even moving away from them with every threatening tap of Sakura's sandaled foot. Outside of the training grounds, civilians began to unconsciously move to the other side of town as the shinobi in the village just heard through the infamous Konoha grapevine that Haruno Sakura was finally cracking the whip at her teammates.

The shinobi avoided the area, but the kunoichi seemed to have set up a silent cheering section with the female Hokage.

"Which team, Haruno-san?" Sasuke deadpanned.

"ANBU," she answered, pride shining in her eyes, "My captain is someone you know."

There was a beat of silence. Then:

"But Sakura-chan! You're not ANBU!"

"The idiot's right, if we failed the test, there is no way you could pass it."

"How long have you been planning this?"

Sakura turned towards the last commenter, smiling brightly, "I took the ANBU exams while you and these two were away training all last year, Hatake-san. I just decided to see if I would be treated as a part of this team before I made the formal announcement. Last mission was the first we all went on since your return. I was pushed to the back and called weak exactly four times during the duration of the mission. As a result, I had Tsunade-shishou sign my resignation forms, which, by the way, have been on her desk waiting for her signature since I was thirteen. After all, that was when you and Sasuke disappeared for three years, the same amount of time that Naruto was gone with Jiraiya-san. You didn't honestly think that I would stay put and remain the same, now did you?"

"Sakura," Sasuke called, "You honestly expect us to believe you made ANBU at seventeen? Naruto and I have had more A-rank and S-rank missions that you. It's statistically impossible for you to have made the elites before us."

Her foot hit the ground harder, and the famed Uchiha vanished into the crack that came forth. The irate pinkette stepped forward, emerald eyes shining like the fire that was Konoha's spirit as she knelt down, her smile turning sickeningly sweet as she addressed the young man caught in the terrified earth.

"Sasuke, did you really think that I only did hospital work while you've been away? I've seen your records," she cooed, "You have been on three A-rank and two S-rank missions since becoming a jonin early last year. Naruto has been on four A-rank and three S-rank missions since becoming a jonin early last year. I, since becoming a chunin four years ago and a jonin two years ago," she whispered to the side before continuing, "Have been on 28 A-rank and 16 S-rank missions. Don't patronize me, Uchiha-san. You'll only hit yourself in the foot with your own kunai."

Naruto choked back a laugh at Sakura's scorching words, his amusement at his friend/rival's expense clear to everyone.

Oh yes, he was very amused. It was like locking him in a room with all the ramen in the world. Nothing could ruin his glee.

That is, until Sakura rounded on him. Not even the brutal heat of a Konohagakure summer could compare to the heat of her anger, and he recoiled, begging the fox inside him to protect him.

The fox laughed mercilessly.

Inner Naruto complained about the fox being a feminist.

Inner Naruto was squashed by a tail.

The fox continued to enjoy the show, wishing he/she/it could join the pink-haired medic in the verbal carnage.

"Uzumaki-san," she began, standing from her kneeling position next to the trapped Sasuke, "Tell me, when people outside of Konoha speak of Team 7, who do they think of."

"Sasuke, Kakashi-sensei," ice trickled down his spine, the fear coming up as the fox whispered in his mind's ear that he was signing his own death warrant, "And me."

She nodded slowly, taking agonizingly slow steps towards him, "But not me."

"No," he mumbled hoarsely.

She shook her head, her flute-like voice taking on the warped qualities of the more sadistic of her mentors, "No, never me. I am nobody when I'm around the three of you. Alone, people know and fear me. With you, I am just a lawn decoration. It. Stops. Now."

"Sakura, this is a little extreme, isn't it?"

She turned back to the lazy argent-haired man; her foot slamming into the ground hard enough to make the orange ball of energy vanish into the crater. If she had stopped to listen, she would have heard the weeping pleas of said orange man, begging the fox in his head to stop with the spoken torment.

"A little extreme, _Sensei_? I think not," she answered, "In fact, I think this is all very justifiable. I have been the victim of sexual discrimination in the workplace because of the three of you. I have been demoralized and demeaned repeatedly by Uchiha-san over there, and yet you did nothing to stop it. I have been assaulted and harassed, though he is so dense he probably never realized it, by Uzumaki-san, and yet you did nothing to stop it. I have been neglected and abandoned by you, Hatake-san, and you have done nothing to redress my grievances. So, I am acting. This is not extreme. If you wanted extreme, I would have brought the chains and kitchenware. I also would have invited Anko-sensei. She has a new pet and she'd like to test the potency of his venom. Sadly, there aren't that many willing to aid her research. I'm sure you and the other two would have readily agreed to her wishes, had I decided to go to the extreme. Instead, I am acting within what is acceptable. I will be 'nobody' no more."

She stomped her foot yet again, only this time manipulating the earth around all three men. The shifting dirt, reminiscent of the Kazekage's unique powers over sand, set them trapped in the ground, only their heads visible above the fertile Konoha soil.

"Sakura, please don't kill us," Naruto whimpered.

She sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose and closing her leafy eyes, "You know this is not what I came here to do."

Sasuke glared, and under normal circumstances she might have glared back, punched him, and/or thrown something at him, "What do mean?"

"I mean, I was going to let Tsunade-shishou inform you of my transfer," she explained, "I actually came here today to tell you that I'm seeing someone and none of you are allowed to skin him, grill him, dice him, and then feed him to Akamaru."

None of the men could reply.

She sighed, "We agreed that we wouldn't tell anyone, but if we were still together by the six month mark, then we'd come out. You were the only ones I was worried about. You always try to scare off my dates. He's different; I was hoping that, previous relations notwithstanding, you might accept him."

"You said we knew him," Kakashi began slowly.

She nodded, "It was the reason I wasn't put on the Alpha ANBU team. Tsunade-shishou said she wanted me on that team, but since I've been dating the captain, it was a conflict of interest. That's why I'm on Beta instead."

Sasuke had turned an interesting shade of green. It was somewhere between mint and sage, Sakura would have decided, had she been paying attention.

Kakashi had gone paper white beneath his mask, but it couldn't be seen. Had Sakura looked at him, she would have only seen the fear and mild panic in his grey eye.

Naruto was simply trying to figure out what the fox thought was so funny. Really, her/his/its laughing was almost deafening inside his head.

"Sakura."

Sasuke's skin turned darker at the sound of the new voice.

Sakura turned towards the newcomer, smiling slightly, "Sorry I took so long. I ended up going off on a tangent because of these three. I only just got to the topic of us."

He nodded, "We're late. I promised Shisui and Hana-san that we would meet them at the restaurant at six, and it's almost five. We both need to get ready."

"Of course," she replied.

The Uchiha in the ground, resembling a rather awkward plant, managed to choke, "Nii-san?"

His brother finally looked at him, sighing, "Sasuke, what did you manage to do to irritate her _this _time?"

"Itachi-kun, just ignore them," Sakura muttered, spinning around on the now frost-like lines in the dirt to walk away, "They aren't worth the air it takes to speak with them."

The notorious Uchiha heir nodded, and turned to walk, saying in farewell, "Sasuke, the clan is expecting you to be at the meeting this week. Kakashi-san, Hokage-sama has a mission for you when you're free. Naruto-kun, I believe a rather angry Hyuuga Neji was looking for you. He was mumbling something about his cousin, Hinata, I think you might want to burrow a little deeper in the ground to wait out the storm."

And so, the three men of the now-fractured Team Seven, watched as Haruno Sakura walked off with Uchiha Itachi. After five minutes, and the disappearance of the couple and the kunoichi's cheering section, they began to move.

Kakashi was trying to escape, whispering under his breath about a certain blonde Kage burning his _Icha Icha_ collection, should he be late for the mission briefing.

Naruto was trying to follow Itachi's advice and vanish into the ground. Sadly, he could hear the angry Hyuuga prodigy making his way closer to the training grounds.

Sasuke, however, had passed out from shock, somewhere along the line.

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A/N: I needed something humorous to write. Everything else is rather dark right now.

_Help pay for Sakura's anger management classes! Donations of reviews are accepted in the purple box below!_

_Hikari Adams_


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